Edinburgh Quotes

Again, I find myself too lazy to write a proper blog entry, so here are some random quotes from my recent trip to Edinburgh.

Ethan: Are we nearly there yet?
Angie: No.
Ethan: Are we nearly there yet?
Angie: No.
Ethan: Are we nearly there yet?
Silence.
Ethan: Are we nearly there yet?
Prolonged silence.
Ethan: Will you sleep with me?

Ethan: Stop jogging the table, Cally!
Five seconds later.
Ethan: Stop jogging the table, Cally!
Five seconds later.
Ethan: Stop jogging the table, Cally!
Cally: Ethan, stop being a prat or I'll tell Angie about the text you sent Becca.
Ethan abruptly shuts up.
Cally: Oh my God! There was actually a text?

Ethan: We come to the fucking capital of Scotland and you want to climb fucking hills three days out of four? Why go for the grassy ones? The whole of this fucking city is one big fucking hill, at least we could see some landmarks while we climb fucking hills!
Becca: Are you done?
Ethan: No.
Pause.
Becca: You were done, weren't you?
Ethan: ...no.
Becca: Yeah you were.
Ethan: No, I was going to swear more.
Becca: Go o-
Ethan: FUCK SHIT ARSE CUNT WHORE ANAL SLUT PUSSY TWAT!

Angie: I'm never travelling with you again.
Ethan: We're going to Prague on the fifth.
Pause.
Angie: FUCK.

Angie: Why do I put up with you?
William: Cos you love me.
Angie: Fuck you.
William: Not in public, love!

Patrick: Scotland is the native home of the Ugly Tree. This gene pool mings. This is Uggobrough. The men are fat and ugly. The women are skinny and ugly. I want to go back to beautiful England!

Ethan stops a stranger.
Ethan: Excuse me ma'am. Did you eat all the pies?

Angie: Am I fat?
Becca: Pssh. No.
Angie: No really, am I fat?
Becca: No you're not.
Angie: You're not bullshitting me?
Becca: You're very slim.
Angie: Are you sure?
William: No. She's lying. You could do with losing a few pounds.
Angie: I knew it!
William: Then why did you ask?

Ethan: One.
Ethan: Two.
Ethan: Three.
Ethan: Four.
This continues...
Ethan: Sixty-seven.
Angie: STOP IT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU COUNTING FOR?
William: Told you she could only stand you for one minute.

Patrick: I think Becca would like this handbag.It goes with those boots she got.
Ethan: Bent.
William: Gay.

Becca: I haven't got the Half Blood Prince.
Ethan: I'll lend it to you.
Becca: No, that's ok.
Ethan: No, it's alright.
Becca: No, I mean I don't want to read it.
Ethan: I'll read it to you.
Becca: I don't want to hear the story.
Ethan: Yes you do.
Becca: No I don't.
Ethan: Yes you do.
Becca: No I don't.
Ethan: Yes you do.
Becca: Why should I read it?
Ethan: Cos I'll follow you around, quoting it, until you read it. Til your dying day.
Pause.
Becca: Give me the book.
Ethan: I'll test you on it.

After a play about Audrey Hepburn's anorexia.
William: Well that put me in a good mood.
Becca: What?
William: A good mood to slash my wrists in.

William: Do you reckon that mother over there will mind if I skin her child to shut it up?

Ethan finally finds some fit birds.
Ethan: And while I was there, I climbed Mount Kilamanjaro. I mean, I couldn't well leave it. How often are you in that part of the world?
Girl1: Wow.
Girl2: You must be so fit!
Ethan grins.
Angie catches up with Ethan and slings her arms around his neck.
Angie: Oh, there you are honey! I think it's time we get going now. I'm sure the babysitter doesn't want to stay too late, and little Joey will be missing his daddy!
Ethan: I hate you.