This is a low

In addition to a Blur song, this is actually a low. I think people don't even realise they're on the way down until they do something utterly stupid and then cannot justify their actions in any way possible. Luckily, for me it wasn't anything that caused anyone else great damage, it was merely the act of throwing my phone down three flights of stairs, simply because it made the tell-tale beep that said I have voicemail and I simply couldn't bear to check it. In fact, just a moment ago the landline rang and I could feel my pulse rising and my breath quickening with anger. Your social life shouldn't stress you like this. I had a bath and it lasted the best part of four hours because I was so thoroughly depressed with everything around me that I couldn't see the point in mustering the energy to wash my hair or soap myself. In the end, having been in the tub for that long, I came out wrinkled as a prune but dirty as the moment I got in.

Basically, my problem is that I don't have the attention span for anything. Granted, I've been blowing off my adhd medication, but that's because it made me a lot of things I'm not. Now I find that people are calling me and keeping me on the phone when I don't want them to, getting me to go out when I don't want to stay out for hours etc. I find myself a slave to other people and I can't stand it. The thought of university is beginning to frighten me because I have to socialise with new people and they invariably demand my attention for more than five minutes apiece. I wish meeting people at freshers was like speed dating. "Hi, I'm Ethan. I play football. Oh, you do too? Great, let's go for a kickabout tomorrow." DING! "Hi, I'm Ethan. You're cute - why don't you give me your phone number? Awesome, I'll call you sometime." DING!

Alas, life doesn't work like that. So for now, I'm merely going on a hiatus. Just getting away from everyone and everything. Maybe read a (short) book. Perhaps it's time to stop trying to please everyone. I know a few friends who act as if the world will end if I don't go clubbing. It won't. It still spins on its axis. It still revolves around the sun.

The plan is I don't go out. I don't answer my phone. I don't chat on the net. I basically don't do anything social. I don't blame anyone but myself; I know it's my own shortcoming that I can't put up with things, but that's me and I'm going to have to embrace it if I'm to handle it. I also spread myself too thinly. I do half my mum's work. I'll hang around at Angie's just to keep her company, even if I don't feel up to it. Lots of tiny, probably unnecessary things build up and it's just got to that point where I'm putting my foot down and doing nothing. I'm going to enjoy the silence for a while.

And buy myself a new phone.

Never go on holiday with an anorexic.

I'm not sure if I want to kill her or myself. Either way a nice bit of bloodshed ought to break the tension a little.

The following words sum up the general mood of this holiday:

ARGH
Wank
Grrr
Piss
Psssh.
Pttoey!
Gah.
Pah.
And another 'grrr' for good measure.

Prague, on the other hand is quite nice. The bits that don't stink of piss are quite pretty.

Definitely somewhere to take the lads, not a girl. Having said that, there isn't much talent here. So a place to bring the lads and a pre-tested, suitable, pretty, shaggable girl.

Make Me a Pirate.

Click on the link below and make me a pirate please. I'd really appreciate it since Johnny Depp RUINED IT FOR ME. I hate him almost as much as I hate toenails.

Anyway, click on the link below. Make me a pirate. Don't ask me why Rum and Monkey get to decide whether or not I'm a pirate. We all know, deep down, that I am one anyway, but I just thought I'd make it official. Go on, click it. Consider it your good deed for the decade.

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fourth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Rumours Confirmed - Ethan is too vastly intelligent for his own good.

Yes, it's true. I am stupidly intelligent. How have I reached this conclusion? Well, there are several methods, each confirming the others' results.

The first is that I find most everyone around me obscenely stupid. By logic, surely it is more likely that I am the abnormality, rather than the rest of the world being unbearably idiotic. Thus, we can conclude that given my coherence, obvious superiority and intellectual morality, I am stupendously bright.

The second is that when I debate anything with anyone, I invariably corner them (figuratively speaking) which forces them to either back down, change topic or babble nonsensically. Today I found myself in a debate in which the unfortunate moron had to repeatedly resort to answering completely non sequitur. People like this make me believe I was a serial rapist, paedophile and Catholic in a past life, for having to encounter them.

The third is that all intellectual institutions fucking love me, be it my old school, AQA, Edexcel or any university. And it's not just because I shag all the examiners.

I shall stop here, not because I have run out of reasons (I could go on for pages) but because my God Complex is beginning to shine through and over time I have learned that it is quite unbecoming.

Instead, I shall give you readers hope that you might not be the most stupid people on the internet. The link below (given to me by Maha) shows some people below whom there is no space for further idiocy:

http://www.365gay.com/newscon05/08/083105nola.htm

I'm inclined to believe Douglas Adams when he said dolphins and mice are smarter than humans. I asked my pet rat if he was more intelligent than I and he threw a cornflake at me. I think this indicates some level of disdain - either he thinks of me as below him or he resents my superiority over him. I shall have to investigate further.

So, readers, I leave you with the sentiment that although you may think you have life bad and things are getting you down, nothing compares to the curse of my superior knowledge (unless you are Stephen Hawking, in which case , I can empathise).